The Chaophraya Cruise

Finally, I was on board the infamous river cruise so well talked about by the tourist. Cost about SGD$32.00 per pax. We got it at SGD$24.00 during a recent travel fair. To get your tickets, normally would be to call up the hotels along the river side where these cruises are offered. And they range many. From the really expensive ones offered by Shangri-la to the really “low-so” ones by what looks like above average “hotel-fun-fun”. That’s the one I went… “cruise-fun-fun” by the “hotel-fun-fun”. The food was terrible.


Steak was cold, overcooked and somehow powdery. None of that BBQ charred fatty bits giving that unique taste to a good steak, more evidence you can never find good western steaks here in Thailand.

The Thai spread was limited and even the Thais complained it was worst then eating from the lousy street side stalls set up by the unlicensed hawkers. It was terrible. They made even the simplest BBQ river prawns taste bad. They were small and tasted like they had died three months ago but kept in the freezer.


DIY coffee tasted like it had baby cockroaches brewed with definitely not Arabica.


Chunks of cheap looking ice blocks, otherwise known as ice-creams.


The deco of decades old, like that of an old 70’s dining hall. They had a live band and the only things worth looking at were the dancers. The uncles drunk went up to them and they all danced together. Must give tips. Reminds me of bad karaoke clubs in the distance provinces.

And I had to be in the worst place to die if the ship hit a barge, I had to do the big business in their confined toilet, surprisingly, I have to give credit to this. The toilet was clean.


Well, I guess the objective was not to enjoy the bad 15 minutes of buffet accompanied by Pepsi overdosed with too much carbonated water losing its taste. We spent the next 2 hours or so up on the deck enjoying the breeze. And we scrutinized the couples so many, the old men with their young karaoke girls on their Sundays off.

Moral of story. Pay peanuts get monkey. Go for the expensive cruise if I have to. Next time.

People can Die from Food Allergy in Thailand

Singaporeans. Complain, complain and complain. Everyday nothing to do but complain. Go holiday, everything also complain. Come Thailand, complain, complain about service, food and Thai people stupid. Complain, complain I hear so many.

To me, theses complaining I take it as caused by the short patience of our Singapore attitude. I have now adjusted my attitude and think that, hey, it is not Thailand that is stupid, it is us Singaporeans that are just complaining too much, it is our own fussiness that is the fault. It should be the Thais that should be complaining about us Singaporeans speaking too loud and with our bad attitude in their land. Until yesterday….

13 Coins, a very successful chain of family orientated restaurant with affordable Thai and Western huge servings of delicacies catered for the average to middle income group. Who serves? The average drop out or that kid from the slump. That Dek Skoi or Dek Vann (teenagers on screaming scoters), or maybe with some intelligence, the student that works part time. Who manages? Naturally, if the crew managers are educated, they would not be working in 13 Coins serving.

I had my fair share of fun making fun of Muslims, but yesterday a Muslim was my friend. Muslims don’t eat pork. Muslims are known as Kun Islam here in Thailand. It is common sense that Kun Islam don’t eat pork and we all respect that just as how they respect Buddhist don’t eat beef. I specifically mentioned to the boy taking my order about that. I specifically told him no Pig please in all the dishes I ordered and to inform the kitchen. I spoke in Thai, it was very clear my instructions.

Kun Islam and me ate through dinner. Three quarters of the way through, he pulled a piece of meat from the Bake Prawn Vermicelli. Allah shit… we both panicked and asked for the waiter to attention.

“Whats this?” I asked. Waiter kept still.
Then manager comes along seeing our commotion.
“Whats this??!!!” I repeated.
“Bacon.” The manager happily answered smiling.
I tell you that after my screaming, both of them no more smile.
They gave me another Bake Prawn Vermicelli free of charge plus simple “Sorry”. We did not touch that.

So, if you are one of those that are allergic to certain food. Don’t trust nobody in Thailand. The food service industry is full of stupid uneducated people, proven!!!. To them, BACON or HAM could be interpreted as meat from another imaginary exotic animal but not that of a pink fat PIG. That’s how simple minded they are, word for word they understand. Dismantle your food and scrutinized every piece of suspicious object. You may die developing a reaction and add to statistics – People Dying from Food Allergy in Thailand.