Eating in Khao Yai - Krua Khao Yai

Aftermath of Lunch

Before arriving at the resort in our Khao Yai trip, we had our late lunch at the very famous Krua Khao Yai (loosely translated meaning Kitchen of Khao Yai) on Thanarat Road. This place is so popular that when we arrived, it was like an army had just had its last meal before the great battle ahead. Heaps of plates piled and leftovers on all tables, the restaurant staffs took their 30 minutes break while we sat on waiting and viewing the unappealing rubble on our table. Eventually we got to order that so famous smoked ham and ribs the place is known for, accompanied by other side dishes that were local delicacies. My ratings for the food was however a medium one, maybe my expectations were set too high. The conclusion was that, Krua Khao Yai is just one of those places "to-be-at" if one visits Khao Yai.

Local Delicacies

Famous For These

From the Outside

Location

The Egg Crab

Long long time ago, in a place far far away from where I am now (that means in Singapore lah), stories of old I was told, of the legendary egg crab so full of roe. A crab so heavily full that eating one will cause your cholesterol level to shoot up 10 notches. And so form then till now, I had searched the world for this golden treasure (actually only in Singapore and Malaysia lah).

Ever so often during the dinners when crabs were ordered, I overturned the red cooked shell to disappointingly discover only small amounts of golden roe. That which I had to scrap painstakingly with me dinner spoon off the crevices sides of the shell. And so until one day, in the seaside restaurant I was.


(Picture of egg crab shell, clam shells at sides to show sizing refernce.)

Holy mother of Buddha, the golden treasures so filled up to the brim, both crabs we ordered were so. There was no need for scraping, it was like scooping on ice-cream. Chinese, these roe very “potent” we believe, eating a whole shell of that we could shoot our you know what not only to the ceiling, but into our neighbors window. Can even target the moving dog and shoot it in the eye.

Next time in Thailand, you just have to specify “egg crab”. But not always it is that you will get what I had. You gotta be at the right place at the right time of the moon phase (I dunno when). I was at Chonburi, eating next to the oyster farms.

The Cheapest of Phuket

Cheap has never been a word related to Phuket and so many will think. Was on a short trip recently for some errands down the paradise island. With rental cars going at an average of THB1,200 a day, I asked a local car rental “is there anything cheaper? Old old also never mind.”


The rattling Suzuki 2 seater 4WD arrived in the morning on the grand lobby of the hotel. THB800 per day. I signed the papers and drove happily from naught to a hundred in like 120 seconds. The gear shift was rough during attempted F1 accelerations, the engine screaming out “oh my god what are you doing to me???!!”



Driving through scattered downpours, pity the tourist who came during this wrong September season. I breathed the sea air, I looked into the horizon, my life is great and my gig sharing the experience. The gale was the onslaught of the next coming rain, on the edge of the quiet mountain I stood against the greens. This is the homeland in my heart, Singapore is just a small dot far away.





To Rawai which I have never forgotten, down the slopes at exhilarating speeds we drove. And there still waiting for me, the wet market in the hidden corner only exposed to explorers such as I. Four pieces of monster Tiger Prawns, for THB200 (SGD8) I got them for. Over opposite to the sea dwellers selling their catch, the bag of the sea catch I handed over to an eatery. For THB50 (SGD2), the sizzling prawns arrived on my table within ten minutes, I gouged the sweety meat out and down them with cold beer. My lunch, my cheap lunch, in Bangkok it would have cost THB800 or so. We enjoyed the simplicity, the farang raising his beer for a cheer as I snapped away at the locality.



On a mountain top the next day we were, our final drive to the airport my errands were done. North Eastern food in south of Thailand, opposites of worlds but yet they compliment the scenery. This place famous for friend chicken and fried minced prawns, so ordered we did and lunched high on the rocks where it met the sea. The blue the green and the extensive horizon accompanying.


I can come here now anytime, a short flight from Bangkok and a small dent in the wallet. Such is life I will mention again, Singapore is just a small dot far away.

Happy on Mothers Day?

Once again, the odd Mothers Day had come and gone last week, the day, coinciding with the Queen’s birthday. It was a Wednesday, it was a day where most families will bring their mothers out for a good happy dinner. Happy and hearty dinner….. and so it seems.

I forward my balls whole heartedly to all the Thai restaurants (except those posh and really well organized ones). Balls to you.

I was once in banquet, I know on coming holidays, the hotels and restaurants in Singapore will call up all their standby waiters on list. To be prepared, to be organized and to prevent logistical nightmares on these fully packed occasions. That’s in Singapore. We have brains.

In Thailand, if we analyze, most restaurants are run by the anyhow bloke picked off the streets without management training. So are most of the owners. They can manage herds of buffalos, people manage they cannot. What happens the on these holidays I advice one never to eat in the restaurants. I guarantee you misery on a happy holiday. Balls to the restaurants again now accompanied by my waving middle fingers (both hands).

You will on these occasions find that firstly, looking for a parking lot means extra contribution to global warming and the already polluted Bangkok. You circle for many orbits before you find one. This comes with added fun of ramming your side mirrors into stupid people who walked the narrow streets like their father owns the roads. Assholes.

You will then most likely be greeted by queues of people without reservations, you yourself inclusive. Having to wait more then an hour, many decide to leave and find the next restaurant. You see people holding on to their shaky grandmas with walking aids inching about. It is like motion in a tortoise pond. Shaky grandmas to people ratio, 1 is to 3. Walking aids to grandma ratio, 1 is to 2. Tortoise movement 100%. These poor old souls, they come, they go without eating.

And so you find a seat finally, that’s because it is already 8.30pm after turning yourself away from at least one or two previous restaurants. You sit and its 20 minutes before some one cleared the aftermath of the previous diners off your table. The old grandmas on the other tables enjoying the same anguishing moments of happy Mothers day as you, you wonder in their hunger if they pick the meat off the eaten pork rib the previous guys left behind while no one is watching.

There will be some, those angry sons who stand up and shout at waiters passing by, and to no avail as the waiters ignore. Your eye contact with the managers will quickly be cut off as he stared and linger elsewhere into shadowy corners as he is unable to cope. And orders will be taken but serve your food will not in the next decade. You witness tartar on the many grandmas’ teeth growing as they wait silently for their food. There will be little staffs attending to all the tables this you will know. And so the energy drains from the old folks and they could not even undergo photosynthesis to supplement their strength for it is night and however green their shirts or extra large bras can be. Many tables will be silent as anger and frustration turns the night darker then night. Some will run out of patience and without paying leave, the old folks unsteadily running on reserve lead away. Go back home, eat that Maggie mee. Curses to the restaurants. Happy Mothers day in Thailand.

One word for the Thai restaurants – Stupid.

Flood of Singapore Food

More… more Singapore food. In many of theses “high-so” shopping malls popping up, we get to see more of these setups. Kopitiam, they have the bread and butter plus coffee set. Singapore Chicken Rice… coming soon and will end soon. In their other branches I see elsewhere, only quiet and stillness. I have to say that the Thai Chinese chicken rice is much better that what’s offered here. Singapore Chicken Rice stall has other dishes such as Laksa and Fried Hokkien Mee. I will give the Fried Hokkien Mee a miss anytime, it just ain’t Hokkien enough.

The way Thais Prepares Garlic

Back home we peel our garlic clean before we eat them, that’s what our mothers taught us in the kitchen. The only time we leave the skin on is in certain dishes like Bak Kut Teh (pork bone soup) where we throw the whole glove intact to be boiled forever in the soup.

In Thailand, the large garlic we have, they called them China Garlic. Thais don’t really like em as they are too spicy and not that fragrant. Thais uses Thai Garlic. Very small cloves of garlic which will kill you just trying to peel them all. So how? Don’t peel (Anyway many Thais are lazy people so why should they?). Just crushed em all up, not even washed them beforehand. Their excuse, the garlic skin gives additional flavors. True to an extend depending on what had clung onto the skin.


This is the way we do it, we grab a handful blind, we throw em in and just pound them with all our might. Little critters, small stones, soil and some, do we bother, not we do. Which was why I lost half a tooth four years ago eating garlic fried fish happily as I chomped onto a small rock and my tooth then after rots.

They Ain’t no Barley

Ok guys, this is gross. If you happen eat around with friends of the E-San and see what seems to barley beans, ask first. This was a picture I took from the menu. Those white bean like stuffs – red ants eggs (the curry pok antz we call them in Singapore, those in rambutan trees). I don’t want no ants to crawl out me backside hole, I don’t wanna eat them.