Eating out in Sing Buri

Working life in Thailand, an adventure everyday. MacDonald’s is not everywhere, we eat where the cows shit on the roads, we eat wherever we find anything that looks like they serve food. Venturing to a far away customer in Sing Buri, no big petrol kiosk could be found that had a civilized clean toilet. Hungry we were, we turned into a very quiet deserted house with a big sign stating “Quay Teow” (noodle soup).


Chairs and tables stacked, one lonely woman sat under the wooden roof baked by the searing afternoon sun. We could not find food for miles, we just had to eat what we found. And there in contradiction, she said no Quay Teow served, never bought noodles for the day. We could however order anything we want, such as fired rice and such. In the midst of occasional ten wheelers roaring by, it seemed we were the first customers in this entire world she had. Deserted, isolated, no one seemed to have eaten there in decades. A rolling stack of passing hay would have made the scene pretty dramatic. Our bottles of Coke were served, the ice she said “we don’t have much today, never buy”. Coke, okay it tasted like Coke… minus the bubbles that were supposed to effervescent. I sipped the dull water pondering if she bought the carton 20 years ago, one bottle served once annually.


Some chickens walked by pecking the hard ground, some very elderly chicken. Waited for so many years to be eaten, their feather were tattered, they were balding. One stared at me, and in its stare told me telepathically “order fried whole chicken or I will commit suicide tomorrow, please eat me”.


Someone came by and the place was soon immersed in the sharp melodic strumming of old E-San music. A juke box, it still worked I thought it didn’t. It had a TV in, a very old TV embedded. I believe the jukebox was made when I was still a sperm.


I ate my fried rice on the aluminum table top. The sunny side up egg slapped on top of my cuisine. Was it an egg on the way to the status of century egg? Never mind, I was hungry I just ate. Swallowing the bits, I stared up the wooden wall. The calendar, the most interesting artifact, was actually a wanted list of criminals. Just my another day in Thailand.

MacIdiots Thailand

In Thailand, we have a new item on the menu in McDonald's. No, it is not MacIdiots, it is Shake Shake Fries (Fries put together with tasty powdering sprinkled to be shaken in a paper bag). Rather delicious but getting one order can present quite a challenge. Twice I ordered “Shake Fries” and they gave me “Cheese Fries”. At first, I thought I was the idiot who ordered the wrong item and not remembering it. But after the second incident, I realized something. There are MacIdiots here, other wise known as “dek-serve” (young server).

When one unfamiliar English word comes before the word Fries forming two words in total, it means Cheese Fries. If two unfamiliar English words come after Fries forming three words in total, it means Fries Shake Shake (aka…. Shake Fries). Fries Shake Shake, or Shake Fries? Oh for the love of Buddha… Shake in the sentence means I want shaken Fries, not CHEESE! They told me I should have said Fry Chake Chake, or Chake Fry, notice they don’t have the S sound within. They way the Thai tongue is made, they can’t pronounce the S within certain words. Neither can they recognize it. It is like they have a low pass filter connecting their eardrums to brain or something.

I was conversing in Thai the whole of the two incidents, only the Shake Fries I said in English. If an Amoeba could listen, their intellect levels could outmatch that of the “dek-serves”. Fries Shake Shake - new item, MacIdiots, always been around.

Tom Kah Soup

As tourist we go Thai restaurant, and we stereotypingly always order Tom Yam Soup. Next time, try to order Tom Kah Soup. My favorite so far is Tom Kah Kung (Prawns in spicy Thai coconut soup). But be warned, it seems like a difficult dish, for most restaurants I went does not make a good dish of this. Barn Lai at Ekamai have good ones. Some obscure restaurants in the harbors of Laem Chabang make good ones too. Trail and error, discover for yourself the other tastes of Thailand.

Rayong Clams, Big and Yummy

No, I was not on holiday again. Just a casual lunch we don’t know where to eat. Along the coast of Rayong we drove, the thousand shacks lined the road a plenty. We had lunch, a casual lunch. And next to the sea on the sands we sat. The repetitive sound of waves breaking, surprisingly just another working day in Thailand. In sharp contrast to eating in the concretes of Singapore, I say Yipee yay yeah.

Dining on the Phuket Cliffs – Cheap

And again, why we should rent cars when on holiday destinations. I was on work, not on holiday. I was looking for a place to eat, the rental car I drove devouring the curves and slopes of Phuket. We stumbled on the E-San food shack up the hill. I had a choice, the concrete building with the fancy restaurant name that had the “welcome farang” feel, or the wooden shacks that looks like it will be blown down into the sea during heavy storm. I choose the later to discover the idyllic simple sitting arrangements hidden from view by the road. It was simple E-San food at slightly expensive price. THB$400 for three of us, as we savored our eyes did too. Just don’t drink here get high, will fall off the cliff for sure. The sunny sun, the shady tables. The view, the air, the sea. This is the life, this is my life.

10 Course Dinner Banquette Narai Hotel

And yet again I attended the Thai Chinese wedding dinner. As chaotic as ever, the function room of Narai hotel when it is not tradition to have seating arrangements and such pre planned. So, everybody was everywhere and our table had twelve because we wanted to be in a group and not with strangers.

What I really cannot stand about 10 Course Dinners here in Narai Hotel was they never change your side plate. I was Banquet a long time back, we had to change the plate every course. Food lovers will know that taste from different dishes should be savored in isolation without the juices form the previous affecting the taste of the current. But hell no in Narai. My request to the idiot faced waiter to change the plates of the entire table was conveniently ignored. By the 5th course, I swear the juices and debris on my plate was starting some form of chemical reaction and could either be turning into alcohol or attaining a life of its own. Welcome to Bangkok.

Eating in Phuket, I found Rawai

So where do we eat in Phuket? As tourist, we stay in Patong we eat in Patong. We stay in Kata, we eat in Kata. And all those eatery almost always have their prices blown out of proportion for they are tuned to the pockets of the farangs. Could we then really get the local food there? No. All the restaurants had been made up-scaled and even the Thai food are just that little bit adjusted to the taste of the farangs.


Here’s a tip, firstly, on tour, must rent car. No car, no real holiday. We drove around the island, found this Rawai beach (southern tip of Phuket). Been to Phuket so many times and never knew this beach existed. Affordable looking eating joints were a plenty overlooking the sea. I knew it was local when I saw Thais on every table. Thais naturally are Thais and knows where to spend their money. They will not usually eat in restaurants targeting farangs. One of the strange highlights of Rawai was that, on most tables, I saw there were a farang or two, eating in the company of a number of “sexy” girls. I guess that’s where Phuket “girlfriends” brings tourist “boyfriends” to when asked for “bring me some place local, I hungry” after the night of “I love you honey, sick at home my mommy, give me some money”.

The food was really local I could tell, as I found out that their Tom Yam soup really tasted very different from that in Bangkok. They put in a different kind of spice, and all the taste I was so used to for the regular dishes I ordered, just tasted that slightly different. Whatever you order, don’t go for the Seabass (Pla Kapong), it tasted muddy. I assumed they do not have sea farmed Seabass and instead catch them from the local mangroves. It was the worst fish I ever ate in years.

And whatever different spices the southern kingdom used, it made me able to kill the nearby dog just by farting. It is interesting to note, Thailand is so big, food in each region have their own localized flavors, name of dish the same. Kill radius of fart differs.