The Infestation of Hua Hin

Evason Hua Hin

What Happened to the Easy Drive

The Route

Getting to Hua Hin is a straight drive along Rama II till the end where one turns left on to Phetkasem, and from there on straight pass Cha-am and into Hua Hin. I remembered that getting there used to be an enjoyable drive of less than three hours. I remembered the smooth flowing traffic under pollution free crisp blue skies. Music accompanied our chit chats, the ever present hint of tyre noise permeating into our cabin. A pleasant drive with occasional stops at petrol stations for that snack or that toilet break, smiles on everyone's faces you met. I left home as usual on this trip, but this time I reached my destination only after an agonizing four and a half hours. The jams, started on Kanchanapisek, way before turning right on Rama II. Trucks laden the roads, pregnant with payload and slow, they do not stick to left lanes. They dominated all lanes without regards to faster moving agile cars. What was supposed to be a nice journey, turned out to be an antagonistic obstacle course. On Rama II, still the trucks infested the lanes, and on Phetkasem, the traffic filtered down to hordes of cars on a snail's pace. Why? Because of the long weekend where Vesak Day fell on a Friday. Discovery Channel can make a Great Migrations episode out of this in fact - Mad Thais on Long Weekends. Within those hours, anyone would turn from pleasant driver to devil on wheels. We need to forget all the civic manners and adopt a combined performance made up of all the appalling driving behaviors from Kuala Lumpar, Jarkata and Ho Chi Minh city, with Bangkok inclusive of course. That way, you will move, if not, you become permanent parts of the roads most of the time. Most cars I witnessed executing amazing feats on the road are Beamers and the Benz, for some reasons success in business also showcased in success on roads. The worst traffic behavior, it is no wonder why in some countries, Asians behind the wheel are notorious for their disorderly manners. Drive wicked, use the service lane, cut into everyone's path and force your way in if it even means gaining just one car's length. Climb, the horizontal ladder of traffic that's what many did. Be wicked, reach your destinations in shorter times. We ended up stressed, angry and upset, the expression of the exhausted sprit I seen at petro kiosk. Be good and your trip to Hua Hin could take you into the night. Road rage or do a Driving Miss Daisy, your choice, your time.

Evason no longer Exclusive

The crowd at Breakfast

Evason, just a little beyond Hua Hin, on corroded shorelines she resides. A road separates the compound from the sea. Mention the word Evason and the picture of peace and tranquility comes into mind. No, not on a long weekend. What happened was a zoo. Coupled together with the sub two thousand Baht packages Evason is so widely promoting through websites such as Ensogo, the pickup for many of their most fundamental rooms resulted in a serenity breached. Bangkok families squeeze more than two into per room. Officially or unofficially remains an uncertainty. I was told the entire resort was actually fully booked for the weekend. I had trouble finding a spot to park my car. Breakfast, it was a market. Crowds picked up and gathered in numbers when chefs were spotted ferrying the bacon to the stations. We wiped them out in no time, leaving many behind the queue with none. What's with Asians and bacon? Well, we perceive bacon as a precious rare food item from the western realms. The big pool viewing the sea, under scattered tall trees, the cast of bendy shadows. The breeze hot, of white clouds contrasting the blue skies the vista. Pleasant above but below the mayhem was. It was more like a water amusement park. And so I forgo that dip, and in my own villa pool a restful calm I had seek. This trip, for one night we picked the Evason Studio, for the next we picked the Pool Villa.

Evason Pool Villa - Bath

Evason Studio room, would not recommended it. If it is basic you want then the most basic room would suffice. The only different is the large balcony with a day bed outdoors, you lay in tropical climate and turn into a sweaty pile. Could be nice for wine in the night, but smacked tightly together the rooms divided by walls, little privacy there will be. But my second day was something else, the Pool Villa. Enclosed in high walls offering seclusion, an inviting pool was set within. Next to it the outdoor tub, encircled by a lotus pond she sits. The shower located next to the tub, in openness one baths under the stars. In the hot day not venturing anywhere to any attractions infested by the crowds, floating under the skies the cricks of nature accompanied my relax stance. One truly rest in a Pool Villa so this I highly recommend.

Great Breakfast Spread, Excellent Food

Asians and Bacon

Just too many People

Working by the Pool

Egg Station

Evason Pool Villa

Evason Studio Room

Evasion Studio - Day Bed Outdoors

Food Shortage

OX Restaurant

OX Restaurant - 12°24'16.20"N,  99°59'40.80"E

I had meals in this restaurant called OX previously. Where Evason is located, there aren't much restaurants around. So any establishments on a long weekend nearby will be packed like sardines. The non Thai and non English speaking crew guarantees to drive your frustration up a notch. The wait for food, two notches. When served the wrong food, that triples it. And when I tried to snap a picture of the rising moon set against the backdrop of the stunning horizon, the crowds kept getting in the way, so angry, so angry. This picture I shown, she (the big white one) was dominating the scene and refused to go away. For twenty full minutes she was posing away, like a mutant bull fly moving in circles on my LED screen while I watch a movie. By the time she went away, the best of lighting the dusky skies and the moon could offer was gone. And so I shall title the picture "Don't Eat too much at Hua Hin, or else...".

Arghhhh....

The Weekend Crowd

Gin Poo Restaurant

Gin Poo - 12°24'19.20"N,  99°59'30.00"E

The next day, we tried to lunch somewhere less crowded at a place called Gin Poo (meaning eat crabs). We ordered steam crabs. The waiter came back say "no crab left". We ordered fried fish in fish sauce. He came back later saying "fish finish". We ordered BBQ prawns, he came back later say "prawn finish". So we ate the only thing that was left - squid. Servings was small, taste was average, but the view of fishing boats moored along the river was great.

The Fishing Boats

Somewhere Good

Somewhere Good - 12°19'60.00"N,  99°59'51.00"E

The best meal I had was actually on an unknown restaurant, located at the corner of bend, a large wooden hut with several small straw roofed constructs. We were lucky we were early, at 11:30 we reached. The crowds soon came and many had to be turned away. The price was fantastically cheap for the quality of Thai food we have. I am a fanatic of fried rice, and this joint offers one of the best I had in a long time. The fragrance of the extra hot wok sealed the flavors of curry powder and crab into every grain of rice cooked to perfection for frying. In most places, the art getting rice cooked perfect for frying is scarce, fried rice usually ended up mushy but not here. Must try you must, must come again I will.

Huts

The Scene Beyond

The Limited Parking

So when is a good time for Hua Hin?

Never on a long weekend should one make any destination that needs to commute out of Phetkasem a choice for relaxing holiday. Unless, one leaves at ungodly hours such as 5 am in morning, the drive would turn you into a wild pile of fuming rage. The traffic had gone terrible lately with the increase of cars. This is thanks to last year's aggressive incentive schemes for first time owners, policy makers denies this of course. Anyways, all resorts will be cheaper during weekdays, quiet and private without the wild crowd. Heaps of resorts had sprang up all over Hua Hin, driving the migratory swarm even bigger. Trips to Hua Hin had always been good, too bad it is just not now.

Do we need Hooters in Thailand?

Oh Yeah....

Well, we have no Hooters here, and why should we really need? There is heaven on Erath for some people when they visit some restaurants here. Just look at this one, a place called "Fer" located on Yothin Pattana road (next to what we called liap-tuang-duan). Do not order fish, you will choke on the bones while you lose your concentration. Every table is assigned one of these sexy waitress. Sex sells and its hardcore truth. The place was jammed packed for dinner, we had to park in another restaurant somewhere down the road and give a "tip" to the attendant. I had no idea how the food tasted. My eyes were on rage and my crouch protested. I was told there are more places like these in Thailand, they'll bring me there someday.

Laem Chambang Dinner - Moom Aroi

Football and Dinner

Laem Chambang, a port north of Pattya many us people in the industrial business would visit. En route on the way back to Bangkok, instead of taking the Motorway, one takes Highway 3 in order to reach this restaurant for dinner in Si Racha. Set alongside the beach high, this establishment of Moom Aroi. Its well known, many people were there, we had to wait a little for we made no reservations. Under the starlight skies, the overhanging tress. Wooden tables, weathered chairs, among the bites of mosquitoes we dined the seafood feast. Must bring mosquitoes repellent. Priced leaning towards the higher side, the meal was worth the Baht in quantity and taste.

Entrace

Location

It's Popular

The Smoke House Khao Yai

The Smoke House

A massive masonry stood out on Thanarat Road. This is the Smoke House of Khao Yai. Reservations needed to be made or you will be made to wait. Her bakery prepared pastries out of flour and butter, her oven the pizzas. Her kitchen grills the steak, and the cooks some Thai Cuisines in woks of fire they heat. The large mansion stood out against blue skies, her large compound accommodates the waiting crowd clicking away on their Canon and Nikon. How about the food this glamorous place? First you got to have an encounter with the reception taking on the hundred of queues, not too happy that chap was. It was like talking to someone that had ants biting his balls he could not remove publicly. I could understand why. When we finally had our table the service was pleasingly fast and responsive.

It gets Crowded

First served was my prawn bisque. I took off the ceramic cover and immediately was lost in an aromatic storm of the shelled delicacy. One sipped, I was whisked away into the clouds, running in slow motion with a smile driven by gastro thrill of ultimate bliss. My best ever soup of all time in Thailand, you just must and have to try it. Thickness was perfect, the taste of the brownish broth was rich. Started off great and soon our Spaghetti Aglio Olio Bacon arrived cutting the order of things before our Caesar Salad. Living in Thailand, you gotta live with things like these, western dining served like an Asian feast. All appetizers, and main course are served regardless of the order of things and also, regardless of who had what first. Your mates could be on desert already, but you are having your appetizer after your main course which you desperately did try to catch up just.

Spaghetti Aglio Olio Bacon

Anyways, the Spaghetti Aglio Olio Bacon was great, its simple and could never go wrong in most western restaurants in Thailand. The salad is also something that will usually not go wrong. Things took a turn for the worst when my Fish & Chips was served. I fell from the heavenly clouds and slammed hard onto the masonry. They used the wrong type of batter to begin with, there was no fluff to it. It was dry and the color told of being in oil too long. The fish, what Fish & Chips in the world had skins attached to them? It left a fishy aftertaste the dark sections of mid spinal meat that was brownish grey instead of cod clean white. They had used sea bass and it was disappointingly terrible. Next time I must try their mainstream steaks instead, the good costly ones that cost a thousand Baht and over, but doubt I may. Good steaks are rare in Thailand, you need love and attention to cook them perfect but in large establishments, kitchen are just production lines.

Good for Dining in Cool Evenings

Aromatic Pastries

Fish & Chips went Wrong

An idea of Pricing

What's in the Fish & Chips

A Rabbit Cafe near Khao Yai

Rabbit

Bunny Coffee from the Road

I am crazy about rabbits, yes I have one and he is more than six years old now, still going strong. So when I spotted rabbit cafe, I simply just had to go in and sip coffee even though I already had one. It is nearby Hommuenlee resort in Pak Chong. We were on our way over to Khao Yai when we spotted Bunny Coffee signboard. A "you gotta be there when in Pak Chong" wannabe places, but not really there yet. Could be because it is out of the way from the main stream Khao Yai. I had my aromatic cuppa joe in peace as I watch the alpha female terrorize the other rabbits in an enclosed area. We were the only ones there. The smell from the rabbit garden was pretty "aromatic" too, but I could live with that because as a rabbit owner, I am used to all of the rabbit's strange toilet odors. A colorful little pleasant cafe set in sweet pink offering cakes to go along with coffee, a tree sheltering the bunnies from possible death from above, the eagle's lunch. Some of the rabbits were enclosed in cages, they were the male serial rapist the waitress had told us. Some negligence I spotted, a rabbit with a tooth too long that needed to be trim. Rabbits teeth grows forever just to let you know, in nature the food and the grinding naturally keeps them short. But for domesticated rabbits we need to pay special attention to their dental health, a once a month visit to the vet is routine for older rabbits. The vet trims their teeth. Outside were a bunch of students from nearby school, they came on their scooters and never ordered a drink. They were all over the swings, outdoor garden tables and chairs. With smart phones they took pictures, the airwaves filled with traffic to social media. Bunny Coffee, we were there.

Eating in Khao Yai - Krua Khao Yai

Aftermath of Lunch

Before arriving at the resort in our Khao Yai trip, we had our late lunch at the very famous Krua Khao Yai (loosely translated meaning Kitchen of Khao Yai) on Thanarat Road. This place is so popular that when we arrived, it was like an army had just had its last meal before the great battle ahead. Heaps of plates piled and leftovers on all tables, the restaurant staffs took their 30 minutes break while we sat on waiting and viewing the unappealing rubble on our table. Eventually we got to order that so famous smoked ham and ribs the place is known for, accompanied by other side dishes that were local delicacies. My ratings for the food was however a medium one, maybe my expectations were set too high. The conclusion was that, Krua Khao Yai is just one of those places "to-be-at" if one visits Khao Yai.

Local Delicacies

Famous For These

From the Outside

Location

The Egg Crab

Long long time ago, in a place far far away from where I am now (that means in Singapore lah), stories of old I was told, of the legendary egg crab so full of roe. A crab so heavily full that eating one will cause your cholesterol level to shoot up 10 notches. And so form then till now, I had searched the world for this golden treasure (actually only in Singapore and Malaysia lah).

Ever so often during the dinners when crabs were ordered, I overturned the red cooked shell to disappointingly discover only small amounts of golden roe. That which I had to scrap painstakingly with me dinner spoon off the crevices sides of the shell. And so until one day, in the seaside restaurant I was.


(Picture of egg crab shell, clam shells at sides to show sizing refernce.)

Holy mother of Buddha, the golden treasures so filled up to the brim, both crabs we ordered were so. There was no need for scraping, it was like scooping on ice-cream. Chinese, these roe very “potent” we believe, eating a whole shell of that we could shoot our you know what not only to the ceiling, but into our neighbors window. Can even target the moving dog and shoot it in the eye.

Next time in Thailand, you just have to specify “egg crab”. But not always it is that you will get what I had. You gotta be at the right place at the right time of the moon phase (I dunno when). I was at Chonburi, eating next to the oyster farms.